Human Nature
by xXKittenCraneXx
Summary: Conel Hans Landa has something else on his mind besides his requests from the basterds. warning: spoilers and slash Hans/Aldo


Hans Landa drummed his fingers on the wooden desk he was sitting at, waiting for his captives to except his demands. At his hands he offered the death of the most powerful man in Nazi Germany, and all his replacements (even though he was a dedicated national socialist) or to end the Bastards plans as well as they're lives. All they had to do was get him connected to someone important like Churchill or Roosevelt and there was something else on his mind.

He smiled even more as he stared at the Tennessee born leader of the Jewish killers known as Aldo Raine, who was in fact glaring at him. It didn't surprise him that Aldo would hate him, after all he was well known as the Jew Hunter. Hans mind was wondering as he half zoned out while waiting for an answer.

_"He doesn't look like a Jew. Jew's are like rats, as Herr Minister says. I've hunted enough of these rats in the last three years but he is not a rat. His nose is no bigger then mine, while his hair spiky brown not the ugly black like all the other Bastards. He also had quiet a bit of facial hair with his thin mustache and a hint of a goatee. Weird scar around his neck other then that he was perfect, completely beautiful, for a man."_

"Why you starin' at me Natzee?" Aldo broke his train of thought. Hans quickly looked away, glancing at the other man Utivich then look down.

"Just wondering…."

"Bout what Jew Huner', my pretty little scars or my scalp collection?" He smirked then added. "They all wanna know bout that." He meant the few survivors he left to spread rumors all around Germany and the army.

"Well yes of course I wonder where you store them but I'm more fascinated by your scar." He murmured in perfect English. He was very well educated, knowing four different languages perfectly, an understanding of human nature, and what move benefited him the most. Right now he had complete control over the ones who used to cause fear in the hearts of all German soldiers and he planned on using them well.

"Lynchin' gone wrong." Hans's eyes widened at the thought, making Aldo laugh. "Good times." His southern accent was thick in every word he said.

"Seems like it."

"Could you take these handcuffs off me and Utivich here since we agreed to end the war, just waitin' to kill Uncle Adolf and have a sip of that Channini whatever you pored us earlier?" The Nazi let out a laugh when he remembered they were still handcuffed but it confused him when he they said they agreed to let him kill his fuehrer, since they never said anything.

"Your not a wine person are you Aldo?" He talked to the leader as if the other man didn't exist and to his best reckoning, Utivich could care less. Landa signaled his men over who were guarding the door way, who simply untied the men without saying anything.

"Not at all but hell I'll take anything righ' now." Raine smirked again as his wrists were free and began rubbing them to get the blood flowing back into his hands, Utivich doing the same.

"So you've decided to end the war. What honorable men you are. We have three hours with the movie, to get someone important on the end of that radio…. And also I would." He swallowed a lump in his throat before finishing his demands while Aldo took a sip of wine from the glass before him, trying not to laugh as the man cringed. "Like to see you alone to discuss some important ipoints/i." he trailed off a bit at the last word but Aldo didn't seem to notice since he turned to Utivich.

"All right, you go contact em' and I'll talk with the German." He said it as if Hans wasn't even there which bothered him a bit but he didn't care as he smiled and got up from the table. He nodded at his men who knew what to do if he was at all harmed. Landa elegantly extended his boney hand to Raine who looked at him as if he were poison but took it without protesting, helping pull him up but also keeping a firm grip enough to lead him into a separate closed room.

The German felt his heart start beating faster when he finally let go and closed the door behind him. Turning away only to fix the situation to his advantage.

"Never held hands with a man 'fore, that a thing in Germa-….." Aldo stopped when he heard the door lock. "What the fuck are you doin'?" He stuttered.

Hans turned to the killer of his own people with a more serious face, even though inside he was panicking. Slowly he walked over to a jumpy looking Aldo who walked backwards until he bumped into a table and placed one hand through his spiky brown hair as well as pushing him up against the table even more with his body.

"I've never been with a man before…." Then in his native language he added. "und du bist der schönste Mann, den ich je gesehen habe." (And you are the most beautiful man I've ever seen.) Aldo looked away shaking and cleaning his fists. They were so close that both they're bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces.

"Fucking flitty Natzee!" He hissed as Hans leaned up since he was so much shorter then him. "I have the righ' mind to scalp you greasy sleaze ball Natzee head!" Hans couldn't help but laugh at the mans desperate attempt to intimidate him.

"**If** you could without my men ending your plot saving not only Goebbels, Boremann, and Goering but Hitler as well and like I said you need all four," He paused as his eyes lowered and lips were placed just barely and inch away from his captives. Aldo was breathing heavily in rage clouded by fear and to Landa it was mesmerizing.

"To win the war…." Without hesitation he used all of his body weight to push the un-expecting man on to the table while he crawled on top of him enough so that his crotch pressed up against Aldo's and held him down so he couldn't get it away.

"**GET OFF OF ME OR I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU!**" Aldo half screamed when he regained the wind he lost from the push. He was panicking and it brought delight to the Nazi, in a way to him fear had become a turn on.

"Oh shush Aldo mein lieb, you can kill me when this night is over but you damn well can't do it right now." He whispered as he planted his face right by the other man ear. His silver mixed with golden hair fell in his face as he licked from the "alpache's" neck to his ear lobe feeling the man shutter underneath him.

"I know you are afraid of something new, something that's never happened before and of course of myself and what I could do to you. Let's just say I've had a particular what's the word?-oh yes fetish for you since I heard of what you've done years back…. You know something Aldo?" He paused looking up into the brown eyes glaring at him with pure hatred, fear, and what looked like almost lust. Aldo was terrified of what was going on but he also half accepted it. He would not fight.

"We complete each other in many ways. I kill and hunt your people while you kill and hunt mine, we've been doing this for the same number of years and we are both feared while we are both loved." Finally for the first time Hans leaned up and did exactly what he wanted to do since he first saw his opposite, kiss him. It was almost too good to be true. A sweet kiss on his part with only a cold stone reacting to nothing receiving it. Hans never expected Aldo to at least show a slight form of affection. It seemed like several hours had gone by when he finally pulled away, smirking while doing so.

"I'll get my goddamn revenge you flitty Natzee. I fuckin' swear it!"

"You have twenty four hours to come up with that 'revenge' but now your mine."


End file.
